Monday, July 1, 2019

From 0 to 60 in 6 Weeks


Thinking back to the last 6 weeks since my last round of chemo, I really went from 0 to 60.


  • That first week (realizing chemo was really over) I was so happy that I walked around like I felt better than I really did - just high on the reality of no more chemo!!! I still moved at a slower pace and got 3 more Zarxio shots that week.  
  • Two weeks after, I started to get back into the groove - I celebrated my birthday, got my port surgically removed and went to Laguna Beach for a sister's weekend. 
  • Week Three: I returned to the gym, went back to working full time and teaching summer session at CSUF.  This was the week I also found myself super angry about having cancer. I took action (haha) - I unfollowed any support group or person that I had followed on social media and put all my cancer books, blankets, and tanks away - I really wanted to burn them all. I did not want to identify myself as someone with cancer. I know this sounds silly - no getting around it - but I wanted to have my life back- and the word cancer stripped from my vocabulary. Obviously, this was not possible and walking around with peach fuzz on my head was a dead give away.
  • Week Four: Still angry but realizing I had to get over that - I focused on work and the gym. I gained some weight from the prednisone and chemo - and sitting on my ass for the last couple of months. This also annoys me. I want my fit body back now. 
  • Week Five: Still dealing with so many emotions - happiness, vulnerability, frustration, uncertainty, anger, and excitment, to name a few. I feel blessed to have gotten through 6 rounds of chemo and come back so strong. Many of my friends and family worried about my 0 to 60 mindset and thought I was overdoing it - but mentally - I needed that. I had to get back to living. What was going to happen to me? I would get tired? Full speed ahead to the best of my ability.
  • Here we are, entering Week Six - I am anxious - one week from today (July 8th), I will have my PETscan to find out exactly how well the chemo worked (remember we are not accepting anything other than 100% remission). I am still struggling to lose the weight - I know 8 pounds - is nothing - but it is driving me crazy - my body is holding on to it like it still needs it - trust me - let it go - we will all be happier - haha. July 17th is the first maintenance infusion of Rituxan (every 8 weeks for 2 years) - side effects should be minimal - maybe 1 - 2 days of fatigue. July is slower at work and a time for me to enjoy getting healthy. I am working on that.
I keep hearing things that I really need to remember as I go into the next 6 months of this year:
  1. I just battled cancer.
  2. I should not be so hard on myself.
  3. Be where you are and be ok with it.
  4. My path will reveal itself.
  5. Be ok with the process.
  6. Enjoy the moments. 
I will update you all next week, with the great news and we can all celebrate together! 
For now, I will work on remembering to enjoy the process and the fact that I look like a chia pet. 😂😂😂









9 comments:

  1. Looking forward to hearing only great news!! And, yes, give yourself a break!! You look awesome!!💕

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  2. I wish I lived closer. Reading this gave me all sorts of emotions and I just want to hug you. You are AMAZING!

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    1. Thanks Ellen. I will settle for a virtual hug. ❤️❤️Enjoy your summer.

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  3. Jenith you’re amazing!❤️ Looking forward to celebrating good news for you! If you are 8lbs up it’s not showing AT ALL, you look like you’ve never given the gym a rest!! Enjoy life today ❤️🌞

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    1. Aww. Thanks Joanie! Of course, I see every pound. 😂😂😂

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  4. love you - need a Gus fix soon! :-)

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